I couldn't live if you didn't
by wolfypuppypiles
Summary: Stiles had to get out. He needed to move. He couldn't sit there and stare at the closed eyes of his father anymore. It had been four days, four goddamned days, of waiting for him to improve. post season 5a Stiles and his dad


Stiles had to get out. He needed to move. He couldn't sit there and stare at the closed eyes of his father anymore. It had been four days, four goddamned days, of waiting for him to improve. Melissa said that he had been lucky to be alive when they brought him in but Stiles had been the first one there, he had held his Dad's hand while he bled and he knew that he was barely alive when the paramedics arrived.

Melissa had driven Stiles to the hospital behind the ambulance and he knew his father's heart had stopped and been restarted before they arrived at the hospital. He didn't know how he knew but he did. You tend to notice if you're only remaining parent dies, even for only a few seconds.

But they had stabilized him, even had him breathing on his own but he wasn't waking up and they didn't know why. They said he had lost a lot of blood and his body needed time to heal but it had been four days and Stiles knew they were worried.

People came and went from the hospital room they stayed in but Stiles didn't really notice any of them. He couldn't stop looking at the bandages covering his Dad, or the IV attached to his pale hand and the fact that he already looked dead.

And God, he knew with absolute clarity, that he would not survive the loss of both his parents. Not both of them, he wasn't strong enough.

He spent four days of unmoving silence in the same chair clinging to his dad's hand and ignoring everyone, pack included, that came through those doors. Except Melissa. Melissa was the only one that could coax a word from him because she was the only one that was honest about his dad and because she wasn't giving up.

Scott had come to see him but after their last fight he knew his best friend saw him as something else and so he said nothing and ignored what little Scott managed to say till he left, promising to take care of everyone. Malia knew what it was like to lose her parents but he still couldn't manage to say anything to her.

Lydia would visit and it was her visits he appreciated the most because she didn't ask for words, she just sat with him and held his hand, understanding that this kind of grief was not something you could ever put into words. But her presence, his banshee sitting with him reminded him that his dad wasn't gone yet. Only that he would be soon. She tried not to, he knew, but she tensed when she walked into the room, like she could feel how little time he had left. And it hurt, right down to his soul, to know how little time that was but still Lydia told him that it wasn't up yet.

Melissa would bring in food for the teenager and insist he ate, ensuring to bring in a blanket for when he fell asleep at his father's side, still holding the same hand he refused to let go of even to eat.

But he couldn't sit there any longer. Not when he could hear the doctors talking about calling child services to take his case. To decide what to do with the soon to be orphan.

When that word was said he stood from his chair, legs aching from disuse and uncurled his stiff fingers from his father's hand because he just couldn't sit there anymore. Running on shaking legs, Stiles made his way out of the hospital, ignoring concerned calls from onlookers and just kept going.

His feet flew across the pavement and eventually made their way onto dirt but kept going and Stiles didn't even notice that change in scenery because his mind was blank but for one word. The cursed word, Orphan, circled his mind, laying out his future in front of him. And he wanted no part in it.

He didn't know how long he had been running for but when he looked down he was walking over leaves and dirt and the night sky was visible through the branches of trees that surrounded him. He was in the woods, lost and confused, his breaths visible in the cold night air as they puffed from him quicker than they should have. And it was so cold but he was shaking not from the temperature but from the sobs that finally came.

He hadn't cried for his Dad till now and it erupted from him, splitting his chest open to expose his slow beating heart to the sky because this kind of agony could not be contained in one person. And, he thought, the universe could not be this cruel. To take his parents away from him before he had even had time to become one himself, before he had gotten a chance to become the man that either of them had hoped for him to be.

He could feel himself rotting from the inside out with grief and his knees buckled, refusing to hold him anymore, sending him crashing to the ground without even a breath in his lungs. He sobbed for his father and for himself, wishing he could take his Dad's place but knowing neither of them could live without the other.

He screamed into the night with the last of his air as a panic attack kept him from bringing in anymore and hoped he was going to see his mother as black overtook his vision.

…..

Derek stopped by a tree and sniffed again as he followed the familiar scent through the woods. Melissa had called him when Stiles went missing, fearing the worst, and he had promised to find the boy that had taken up room in the heart of so many. He knew the rest of the pack and some deputies from the station were also out trying to find the teenager and could hear them yell his name through the night.

They had been searching for almost two hours now and knew that hypothermia was a very real and very dangerous possibility if Stiles was in the woods.

The scent was getting stronger and the man moved faster through the woods scrunching his nose at the strength of the chemo-signals he was getting. Derek knew what it was like to lose your family, he had lost them all in one night and he wished he knew how to help the kid through this but losing your family isn't really something you ever recover from and Derek didn't think Stiles would want his help anyway.

Derek trudged on through the forest, flashing his wolf eyes to help him see better through the dark. He was getting closer and he called out for the boy desperately hoping he would reply.

"Stiles! Oh no." He could see a flare of blue a few meters ahead of him but it was unmoving on the forest floor and Derek soon saw it to be Stiles in a thin hoodie and jeans.

The boy was half curled on his side, eyes closed and lips tinted blue with darker patches on his clothes where they were wet. Derek could hear the human's heart beating but it was slower than normal and a hand to his chest told him his breathing wasn't right either.

Knowing how quickly a human could succumb to hypothermia and exposure Derek quickly stripped Stiles' damp hoodie from him and his own jacket, draping his leather jacket over the boy before lifting him carefully from the ground. Stiles made no noise or movement when lifted and this worried Derek more, holding the boy close as he began to run, carefully avoiding looking at the blue lips of his pack mate.

"Come one Stiles, stay with me. You can't go yet okay? I just got back and we all still need you so you just hang on alright?"

The boys limbs were stiff in his hold and so, so cold and Derek hoped his own body heat would help.

It didn't take long for Derek to get back to where the search party set out from and as Derek got closer he started yelling.

"I found him but he's not doing so good I need some help!"

Melissa immediately raced forward and gasped when she saw the limp teenager he was carrying.

"Get him to my car I have an emergency blanket and a med kit. How's his breathing?"

She led him to where her car was parked, throwing open the back door and allowing Derek to lie the teenager down in the backseat before squeezing in herself to assess the boy.

"Not good and he didn't react at all when I picked him up. Melissa he's so cold his lips are blue."

The nurse picked up one of Stiles' pale wrists and looked at her watch as she checked his pulse before resting her hand on his chest to check his breathing. Derek watched from outside the car as Melissa called to the teenager trying to get any sort of response from him before gesturing to the boot and asking Derek to pass her the medical kit she had there.

The wolf brought her what she needed and helped to slide the boy's clothes off and wrap him in the emergency heating blanket. There were deputies calling in their found around them now and Melissa climbed out of the car and got into the front seat.

"Derek sit in the back with him, try to get him to wake up and keep him warm." The nurse hesitantly added "Tell me if he stops breathing." As Derek got in and lifted Stiles into his lap, pressing him close to his chest and hoping they would get to the hospital in time.

…

Stiles was cold. Not nearly as cold as he thought he should be but still cold enough that none of him would move, his muscles stiff and mind uncooperative. His skin was buzzing and burning but he could feel hands rubbing over his limbs and heavy blankets on top of him and knew someone must have found him in the forest.

There was noise as well now, getting louder and Stiles could hear people talking.

"His blood oxygen level is much better but his muscles are still so stiff."

"I'm just glad he's pink again."

The last one sounded like Derek but Stiles still couldn't open his eyes to see for himself. His mind was so foggy and he felt someone pick up one of his hands and blow their hot breath onto his chilled fingers, rubbing at the skin to get the blood flowing.

He heard someone, it sounded like Scott, sigh from near his feet where he was massaging the tense muscles on Stiles' legs.

"Why did he run off in the first place? He hadn't moved from that chair for four days, he wouldn't look at me or talk to me and I was worried we could never get him to go home and then he just leaves? Why?"

Melissa replied in a sad low tone and Stiles knew she was worried for him.

"There were some doctors outside his door talking about what to do with his case once the Sheriff….. they were giving up and I'm guessing Stiles heard them and needed to get away from it but I just don't know why he was in the woods and why he was there so long he got hypothermia. Either way I wish he had just stayed a little longer so he would have known that he wasn't losing his dad anytime soon."

Stiles mind sharpened when Melissa said that. She had said it like she knew for sure his dad was going to live, like…

"He woke up an hour after Stiles left?" Scott asked his mother.

"For a little bit but yes and it's such a good sign. Johns going to make it and Stiles wasn't even there to see it. Now we have two Stilinski's in the same room and Stiles is the one not waking up."

The nurse sighed tiredly. "It hasn't been that long and he isn't really in any danger now that his temperatures started coming up but I just need to see those brown eyes of his and tell him the good news."

Stiles was exhausted but hearing that his dad was going to be okay gave him the energy to squeeze the hand still blowing onto his and to flicker his eyelids.

"Stiles? Sweetie can you hear me?" Melissa squeezed his hand back and he could see her, through his cracked eye lids, leaning over him. She had tears in her eyes and a few of her curls had escaped her ponytail and were dangling down.

He finally managed to open his eyes to see Derek and Scott at his bedside also. Stiles could tell he was in the same room as his dad and rolled his heavy head to the side to see his dad lying in his own hospital bed still asleep but still alive.

"He's okay?" He wanted to say more but his chest was tight and his words came out quiet and gravelly and he hoped Melissa had heard him.

"Yeah, Stiles he's okay. He opened his eyes, only for a few seconds but it's what we would expect. He's going to be fine, you both will be."

Stiles looked back at Melissa as tears made their decent down his cheeks and he felt so bad that he had made everyone so worried.

"I'm sorry Melissa. I just panicked and I didn't even really know where I was going and… I'm sorry."

Scott moved up from Stiles' feet to stand with his mom with Derek on Stiles' other side.

"It's okay buddy your safe now, just please don't do that again Stiles. We almost lost you, what would we do without you?"

Stiles wasn't sure he was ready to forgive Scott for their fight but he was glad his best friend was there all the same. And now that his dad was going to be okay he knew he would be too.

"I want to sit with Dad."

Melissa shook her head and resumed rubbing at Stiles' cold hands. "We still have to get your temperature back to normal Stiles, you're not moving from this bed anytime soon."

He bit his lip as tried not to cry but the tears came anyway. He was so exhausted and desperate to be back beside his dad but he knew he couldn't get out of the bed even if he tried, his limbs still wouldn't cooperate with his brain very well.

"Please? I have to be there when he wakes up, I have to make sure he knows I won't leave him again."

His eyes were feeling heavy again but he wouldn't sleep till he was with his dad and Melissa wiped the tears from his face and kissed his forehead.

"Oh baby you'll see him soon just go to sleep and you'll feel better when you wake up."

A sob escaped his mouth and Stiles whimpered out another plea.

"Please?"

Melissa knew that it would cause problems but couldn't see Stiles suffer and gestured to Derek and Scott to help her move his bed.

"Alright Stiles, we'll move you over to him okay? But the other nurses and I will need to work so it won't be for long alright? And when your better you can sit with him as long as you like."

They pushed the boy's bed closer to his dad's and Stiles lifted a heavy arm to gasp at his dad's hand feeling the warmth and life in it.

"Thank you." His eyes fell closed and he still felt gentle hands working his muscles but he slept better than he had in days because his dad was okay. And that was everything he could ask for.


End file.
